


dying is the way to go

by RosieClark



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, but alluras alive, fun times, its post season 8, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2020-10-18 11:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20638235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieClark/pseuds/RosieClark
Summary: after a freak accident regarding a fatal virus and some quintessence, Katie Holt is left with only days to live. How will her family and friends get through this?





	1. TUESDAY

**Author's Note:**

> this idea has been mulling around in my head for a while, and i've finally had the time to get it on paper. Hope you enjoy!

**Katie**

_ Fourteen-year-old Katie Holt watched from the stairwell as the news displayed the death of her brother and father. The fricking Garrison hadn’t even had the courtesy of telling them in person before going to the press. A muffled sob drew her attention to the couch, where her mom sat, back rigid, shoulders shaking slightly. _

_ “Mom?” She hated how helpless she sounded. Colleen turned, quickly wiping at her eyes, and Katie pretended not to notice the tears. _

_ “Katie, I have some bad news,” her mom began, but Katie silenced her with a hug, craving her warm embrace. In one moment, her brother and father, two of the strongest people she knew were gone. _

_ “I already know. I saw the news.” _

_ Her mom wrapped her arms around her body, and they sat there, supporting each other and trying not to let the darkness win. Finally, Katie spoke, her voice trembling. _

_ “What are we going to do?” _

_ Colleen held her daughter at arms length and wiped away tears she wasn’t aware had fallen. “I don’t know darling. But I do know it’s going to be okay. Your mom’s going to fix this.” _

_ Katie nodded, ducking her head into her mother’s shoulder, holding tight. They said it was a “Pilot Error”, but Katie knew better. Takashi Shirogan was the best out there, not to mention he was with her brother and father, both with years of experience. Her family was still alive. But seeing that look of determination on her moms face, the look of a mother just wanting to comfort her daughter, Katie decided against telling her. _

_ Regardless, in their dark living room, with the TV blaring in the background, Katie was already forming a plan. She would fix this. Her father and brother were out there somewhere, and she was going to find them. Even if it meant going to space to do it. _

  


**Colleen**

Colleen Holt’s hands shook as she gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles white. She glanced beside her to where her daughter was sleeping soundly, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling. 

“It’s going to be okay Katie,” she whispered. “Your mom’s going to fix this.” 

It was a lovely July day outside, and Katie Holt, daughter to Sam and Colleen, sister to Mathew, teammate to Allura, Hunk, Keith and Shiro, mother to two-year-old Maria, and the one true love of Lance Mcclain’s life, was on her way to a hospice to die. 

With a sad smile, Colleen used one hand to readjust the blanket that had fallen of Katie’s slim shoulders. If the circumstances had been better, Colleen might have laughed at the thought of her daughter so docile and quiet, the great green paladin of Voltron turned back into her mother's baby girl. 

Instead, the very thought made her bottom lip quiver. She bit it to quell the tears wanting to escape, and instead began reciting the periodic table of elements. Biology was more her thing, but a good chemistry review never hurt anyone. She was on fluorine when a soft voice joined her own. 

“Neon, sodium, magnesium.” Katie's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at her mom. “Are we there yet?” 

“Almost there darling.” Colleen smiled back, trying to keep the atmosphere light. “Did I wake you?” 

Katie shook her head, the movement seeming to take great strength. No mother should have to watch her child suffer like that. 

They chatted about mundane things, as if this was just another Tuesday, and they were driving to the mall. But they weren’t. They both knew that. 

When she reached her destination, Colleen came to a slow stop. She turned off the engine, pulled up the hand break, and just sat there for a minute, focusing on the door that lead to the unwanted and unknown. Katie had fallen back asleep and Colleen didn’t want to wake her because then their terrible short future would become the present. She wanted to drive away, go anywhere, but there was nowhere to go. She was stuck. 

Gently, she brushed up some stray hairs that had fallen on Katie’s forehead, running her hand through her daughters hair. It was soft, as it always had been, ever since she’d been a child. It was comforting to know that the virus hadn’t taken everything from her. 

She was jerked out of her thoughts when she felt another hand on hers, interlocking their fingers. Colleen stared at their hands, Katie’s hand looking older than hers. Her skin was dry and flaking, her veins a harsh blue against her fair skin tone. Her nails were chipped and short from working before the accident. It was hard to believe this was their new reality. 

“Well, no time like the present.” Katie said, attempting to sound perky. Colleen was grateful for the effort. 

“I’ve got the wheelchair in the back.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I’m not using the wheelchair. I’m walking in.”

“Katie,” her voice was stern, as if she was telling her to go to bed, or eat her vegetables. “You can barely stand. You are not walking.”

“Mom,” Katie’s voice was like her own, her eyes glistening with the defiance Colleen knew she would find if she looked in a mirror. “I’m walking in. Just like I’m going to walk out.” 

Colleen looked at her daughter, furiously fighting to keep her tears at bay. The Holt women were women of science. They both knew there was going to be no walking out for Katie, that this was the end of the road. And yet her daughter kept clinging to the hope that some miracle would transpire and she would be healed, and what mother would take that away from her daughter? So she nodded and offered her arm as a support. “I swear, Katherine Holt, if you fall, I’ll--”

“Kill me?” 

The older Holt woman's face fell into disappointment. “Not funny.”   


“Kinda funny?” Katie offered, the cheeky grin on her face a glimpse of the woman she had once been. 

Colleen relented. “Okay, kinda funny.” She rolled her eyes. 

Katie laughed, pumping her fist into the air. Colleen tried to capture that moment to keep in her mind forever, her daughter laughing with the sun streaming around her, her hair wild in the wind. Then the moment was broken with the ragged cough that hacked its way up Katie’s throat, doubling her over and halting their painfully slow procession to the front doors. Her mother rubbed her back in concern, offering what little comfort she could until it passed. 

They didn’t say anything as they walked inside, taking in the lush carpets, light wood and shelves filled with books.

“Reminds me of Olkarion,” Katie murmured, a wistful coming over her. “I wish I could--” 

Colleen didn’t need to be a scientist to know what she was going to say. _ I wish I could see it one last time. _It broke her heart to hear her daughter talking like that. So instead she smiled and together they made their way to her room; a nice airy modern design with a bed in the center, two chairs next to it, and a couch on the far wall. A gigantic window, almost the size of the wall was covered by translucent white curtains, and several indoor plants hung from the walls and ceiling. 

A nurse appeared, all smiles, and introduced herself as Linda. She took note of all Katie’s meds, and hooked her up to the various machines that Rymer sent to help alleviate the pain and make these final days full of comfort. The Olkari woman had spent days searching for a cure, but had come up with nothing. Because all their healing tech used quintessence--the very element that had worsened her condition in the first place--all she could offer was pain meds and a sympathetic apology. 

Colleen began unpacking her handbag, placing the items on the shelf facing the bed: last Christmas’s family photo--Lance had been so concerned with the lack of matching sweaters, he had bought them a set, a model of the green lion that had been gifted to Katie for Christmas, and a framed copy of her first robot design. Finally, she pulled out the blue sweater Lance had given her before going to work, making Colleen promise she would give it to Katie when they got settled. 

She hadn’t noticed Linda leaving, but when she turned to face her daughter, she was alone, watching her with keen eyes. 

“Whatcha got there mom?” Katie asked, cocking her head to the side. 

“A gift,” Colleen hid the sweater behind her back. “From your doting husband.” 

It was almost comical watching her summon the strength to make grabbing motions with her hands, like a baby wanting a favorite toy. Eventually, after much whining from her daughter, Colleen relented, handing her the sweater. Katie brought it up to her nose, inhaling, before attempting to put it on. 

And failing. 

Watching her daughter unable to put on a sweater, reminded Colleen that they were not at an ordinary check up. Katie started to shake, tears running down her cheeks, as her arms lacked the strength to pull on the sweater. 

“Here baby, let me--” Colleen moved to help her, but was cut off. 

“No!” Katie sobbed, jerking her body away. Her sudden movement caused what little progress she had made to come undone, the sweater falling unceremoniously in her lap. 

Her mother gently pried the sweater out of her tiny clenched fists, and bunched it up, pulling through first her arms, then her head, and finally rolling down the hem, like she had done when she was a baby. 

“I hate this,” Katie sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself. “I feel so helpless.” 

“Katie, you’re not helpless.” Colleen chastised gently. “You are the strongest person I know. You went into space to help your brother and father. You helped our entire planet, and I suspect many before that. Now, you need to let us help you.” 

Katie sniffled and lay down, her hands fisted in the sweater that reminded her of home, and Colleen stayed with her until she fell asleep, praying for a miracle. 

  


**Matt**

He would find a cure. He didn’t care how long it was going to take, but Matthew Holt was going to find a cure. His parents had already given up, sending her to that cursed place to die, but he was not going to stand by and watch his little sister go through this. 

His little sister who had flown through space to rescue him. His little sister who never stopped believing that he was out there, alive, even when everyone else told her she was wrong. 

It was his turn to return the favor. 

His phone started to buzz, drawing him out of his thoughts. Running a hand through his unruly hair, he checked the caller ID. Mom. Groaning, he declined the call, just as he had the twenty four before that. It might seem harsh, but it was what he had to do. His mom would ask him when he’d visit, remind him that time was of the essence, and he would tell her he’d visit when he found a cure. 

That was the shortened version. The full version included a lot more dancing around the subject and eventual yelling, at which point he’d hang up because he’d already wasted god knows how long when he could have been running more tests. 

Distractions would not be tolerated. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept. The last time he’d eaten something other than a pack of food goo, but he couldn’t afford to take the time off. 

Matt didn’t mind though. He loved his sister and would do anything for her. What he _ did _mind was the fact that she was dying. In fact, he minded it a lot. 

He’d gotten the call from his mom telling him to get to the Garrison Hospital three days ago. Katie had looked a little pale, but overall healthy, a bright smile on her face as she held her daughter. Then everything had changed when she’d gone into that stupid fucking piece of Altean tech and came out with days to live. 

Matt knew he shouldn’t but he hated the Alteans. He hated Coran for suggesting the pod in the first place. He hated the royal family for sending the blue lion to earth in the first place. He hated that they couldn’t or _ wouldn’t _do anything more to save his sister from her impending doom. He just wished Allura hadn’t sent Katie to that fucking planet in the first place and--

He slammed his fist into his work table, rattling vials and petri dishes filled with his days work. It wasn’t the Alteans fault, he reminded himself. He took a deep breath. Focus.

Some small part of him knew that he was using “finding a cure” as an excuse. The last thing he wanted to see was his feisty fireball of a sister dying in a bed, unable to do the most basic of tasks. Seeing that would break his heart. Working was much easier. Matt knew elements and atoms and medicine. He knew research and hard work. What he didn’t know was a world without his sister, and he’d never have to if he had any say in the matter. 

  


**Lance**

Lance hated hospices. He hated them more than he hated the healing pods. Because when someone was in a healing pod, it meant they were going to be alright. If someone was in a hospice… well, that was their last stop. Not to mention they smelled like death, and everyone in it was either dying or dying on the inside. That’s right Linda, Lance Mcclain saw right through your fake smile. 

But more than that, he hated that he had to be in one. That for an undetermined amount of time, he would be spending every last possible hour in one. And then hopefully, he could go home. Hopefully, they both could. 

She would beat this. She had to. She was strong, and good, and smart, and he couldn’t live without her, so she _ had _to win. He knew it was selfish of him, that she was in pain and would be in a better place if she just let go, but he couldn’t bear the thought of that, of a world without her in it. 

Her door slid open, and he slipped in, accepting a hug from Colleen. The poor woman looked like she’d aged ten years in the last week. 

“Hi mom,” he greeted. “How is she?” 

“Sleeping for now. The nurse was just here with the med cart.” Colleen brought a hand up to cup his cheek. Lance leaned into the touch, something so maternal about it, he couldn’t resist. Not when his own family couldn’t spare the time to fly over. He didn’t blame them, the farm was always busy this time of the year, but he missed them. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I grab some coffee and a bite to eat and make a phone call.” 

Lance knew from the look in her eyes who she was calling. “Still no luck?” 

She shook her head, smiling sadly. 

“Don’t worry mom, he’ll come around eventually.” Lance offered her a grin, a real one, not the fake one he put on for curious Garrison employees. 

“Thank you Lance.” She headed for the door, taking one last longing look at the sleeping form on the bed. “See you soon.” 

Lance only had time to raise his hand in a wave before she’d disappeared from the room, the door sliding shut behind her. He turned, and approached the bed.

She was wearing the sweater that he had given Colleen, its fabric drowning her frail form. She had been small before, but now she was so skinny, he was afraid she would break with a gust of wind. Still, some part of his male ego flared up at seeing her wearing _ his _color. It looked good on her. 

Lance dropped the flowers he had brought on the sofa, and sat in the chair next to her bed. With her eyes closed, her mouth parted slightly, she looked so peaceful. He kissed her forehead, gently brushing her cheek with his thumb. Then he sat there, holding her hand, at watching her breath. In and out. In and out. Because he had no idea if that breath would be her last. And that terrified him. 

Eventually, her eyes fluttered open, locked on him, and she smiled, rolling over and yawning. 

“Morning beautiful,” he said, watching her movements. Six years together and she still had this effect on him. The butterflies-in-his stomach-how-in-the-world-did-he-get-this-lucky-_ fuck _-you’re-so-beautiful effect. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like a human eating virus is killing me.” She deadpanned. 

“Okay then, dumb question.” Lance tried to sound upbeat, but he was tired. They both were. “It’s a nice place,” he commented, really looking around for the first time. “Kinda like Olkari.” 

Katie beamed up at him. “That’s what I said!” 

He chuckled, then she snorted, and before he knew it, they were full out howling. It felt nice to laugh, like they used to when he’d start a tickle war he knew he’d lose, or during one of their impromptu dance battles. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of his eyes, but he blamed it on the laughing. Lance couldn’t even remember why it was so funny, but he didn’t care. They said laughter was the best medicine, and he was willing to try anything at this point. 

Anything to avoid the inevitable. 

By some wonder, Katie didn’t breakdown into coughs, and Lance managed to stay in his chair. With the sun shining through the window, it was almost normal. 

Katie leaned back, snuggling into deeper into his sweater. “That felt nice.” 

“Yeah.” 

Suddenly she shot up, looking at him with panicked eyes. Concern flooded Lance’s system. 

“Where’s Maria?” 

Relief washed over him, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “She’s with Allura for the time being.” He rested a hand gently on her shoulder to guide her back down. “Keith and Hunk said they’ll be dropping in tomorrow.” Lance added, absentmindedly stroking her hand. 

She hummed in agreement, her eyes drooping closed, tired out from their earlier shenanigans. She shook her head as if trying to stay awake, but Lance gently smoothed down her hair, stopping her movements. He wanted to shake her, yell at her not to sleep because that meant he couldn’t listen to her voice, hear her ramble, see her eyes light up with a new idea. He wanted to spend every moment with her because now, it felt like time itself was slipping through his fingers and mocking him. But he couldn’t do any of that. Instead, he kissed her lightly. 

“Rest now beautiful. You have a big day ahead of you.” 

And as her eyes began to flutter shut, Lance Mcclain was faced with a question: What do you do when the person you thought you would spend eternity with was gone? 

  


**Keith**

When Keith had gotten the call, he had been with the blades on a Bulmera, distributing food and water to the inhabitants. He was tired and just wanted to crash on his sorry excuse for a bed, so when he saw Hunk calling, the last thing he wanted to do was answer it. A brief conversation with Hunk turned into what felt like a four hour long therapy session where they explored their deepest thoughts and regrets. Don’t get him wrong, he liked talking with Hunk, but at three in the morning, it was his top priority. 

Still, something in his gut told him to answer the phone, and he was never one to go against his gut, so he picked up. 

“Hey Hunk,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes, but Hunk was silent. “Hunk?” 

Hunk couldn’t seem to speak, and all Keith could hear was his muffled sobs. His gut filled with dread. He sat down on his bed in silence, listening to his friend cry. He didn’t move one inch, didn’t say one word. He tried his hardest not to jump to the worst case scenario, to just wait until Hunk revealed why he’d called. 

“It’s Katie,” Hunk managed to say eventually. “It’s bad man. There was a mission, and a virus, and--god.” 

“I’m on my way.” Keith had no idea how he would manage to get time off--they were already swamped with work as it was--but there was no harm in asking.

Then, Hunk had said the most frightening word he had ever heard: ‘Hurry.’ 

And Keith's world came crashing down around him. 

  
  


Krolia opened her door, took one look at her son and wrapped her arms around him. He buried his face in her shoulder, his hands fisting in her shirt. She mumbled softly in his ear until he was calm enough to talk. 

“It’s Katie,” he coughed out. “She’s doing worse. They--they don’t think she’s going--” His voice broke, as if his brain wouldn’t let him even consider the possibility of her dying. When he looked up at his mother, her eyes were wide with sympathy.

“Go.” She said softly. “Be with the ones you love while you still can.” 

Keith knew she was talking from experience, from not being with his dad when he passed, and he was grateful his mother understood where he was coming from. He kissed her on the cheek--definitely not the Galra way--but he needed to show her he loved her. After all, you never know when someone you love could be taken from you. Then, he was dashing back down the hallway. 

  
  


She had been fine, he thought to himself as he threw clothes haphazardly into his suitcase. She had been fine when he’d last seen her three months ago. A little worn out, but that was given with a two-year-old. What had happened? God, Hunk had sounded so broken up on the phone, how were her parents taking this? Her brother? Lance must have told them, so--

_ Fuck _

How was _ Lance _taking the news? Keith shook his head, trying to empty it of all his thoughts. He would get answers when he reached earth. He zipped up his duffel bag and threw it over one shoulder, running to the hanger where Red was ready for him. 

_ Come on Girl, _ he thought as he seated himself, his trembling hands resting on the controls. _ We got to get to earth fast. One of our own needs us. _

Red purred in response, sensing her paladins unease, and taking off without her usual stubbornness. Keith thanked her, setting their navigation console to earth. Then he gunned the acceleration, going faster than he’d ever gone before. Red protested slightly, not comfortable with her paladin throwing caution to the wind. But he pushed her to the back of his mind, pushing her to go even faster. 

They flew in silence, and Keith was unable to keep fear that they were going to be too late from crawling inside his head. 


	2. WEDNESDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pasts are revealed, the paladins reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter! A huge thanks to the lovely alwaysinsonder who beta'd this chapter! without her it would be a jumble if misspelled words and nonsense!

**Katie**

_ Shiro blinked slowly, trying to process the information he’d just been given. Looking around the room, he could tell the others were doing the same.  _

_ “You’re what now?” Keith broke the silence, leaning forward in his chair to study the two paladins in front of them.  _

_ Katie looked up at Lance sheepishly and bit her lip as a red flush dusted her cheeks. He grinned back at her, interlocking their fingers.  _

_ “We’re dating.” he repeated.  _

_ Keith looked like he was about to fight Lance, but Allura laid her hand on his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles. “We’re both so happy for you, aren’t we darling?”  _

_ The red paladin opened his mouth for a second before sighing and leaning back. He kissed Allura lightly on the cheek. “Yeah yeah. Be good to her Lance.” He grumbled, crossing his arms, but turning to smile at his girlfriend.  _

_ “Thank you Keith,” Lance smirked, raising one brow. “We appreciate your support.”  _

_ “Shut up.” Keith shot back, a smile playing on his lips. Shiro knew better than to think they were really fighting. Five years in space together and they still bantered like brothers. It was amusing at times.  _

_ “Shiro?” Katie spoke up. “What do you think.”  _

_ Shiro had a lot of thoughts. This was all so sudden. It seemed like just yesterday Lance had been head over heels for Allura, following her around like a puppy dog. Plus, when had Pidge been interested in Lance? She was always complaining about how annoying he was; bothering her when all she wanted to do was work on her projects, beating her when they played video games, not letting her go to bed without eating dinner. It seemed like they barely tolerated each other, and now they were dating?  _

_ Shiro cleared his throat. “How long has this been going on?”  _

_ The couple exchanged a glance before Lance mumbled, “uhh, five months now?”  _

_ Five months? FIVE MONTHS? It took all ten years of training for Shiro to maintain his straight face. “I see.”  _

_ He was about to give them the same speech he had given Keith and Allura; about how their relationship should not interfere with Voltron or any Paladin work for the matter. If it does, they will be asked to put their personal matters on hold until the war is over, but seeing how happy Katie looked made him reconsider.  _

_ “I’m glad for you both.” He said, and the grateful smile she gave him was worth it. “But Lance?”  _

_ “Yes?”  _

_ “If you hurt her, it's your funeral.” _

  
  


**Shiro**

His feet pounding on the pavement, his arms pumping in time with his breaths, Shiro ran. He had gotten the news from Matt two days ago when she was still in the hospital, that some alien virus was eating at her immune system. But he had written it off. Pop her in a pod for a few varga and she’ll be good as new. 

But the pod hadn’t worked. Instead, the quintessence somehow boosted the virus, accelerating the rate that it killed her. They had mere days with her now. 

Exercise had always been his method for coping with hard things. Before Kerberos, with his health, he still insisted on keeping an active lifestyle. It was his way of pushing himself and staying in control of his body. When he was imprisoned with the Galra, it had become his way of staying alive, fighting in the arena and winning, clinging to what little hope he had left. As a paladin, it was his way of offering mentorship, training the team to be the best they could be. And now? 

Katie was dying and he was too afraid to see her. 

He was a coward. 

Shiro knew he couldn’t turn back time, that he couldn’t change what was happening.But maybe, just  _ maybe _ , if he ran fast enough, he could outrun what was coming. 

So he ran. 

**Allura**

Katie was dying. 

Her green paladin was dying. 

Her friend was dying. 

Her  _ sister  _ was dying, and there was nothing she could quizancking do about it. 

She was Allura of Altea, the princess who had saved the entire universe, rebuilt her body from stardust and returned to Earth. Not to mention the President of the Intergalactic Coalition, and the Head of Alien Studies and Communications at the Garrison. She could do nothing but watch her sister wither up and die. It was too much like watching her planet perish at the hands of the Galra. 

Still, there were small things she  _ could  _ do. Not to save Katie, but to help her and Lance. She offered to watch Maria for them, the child now sleeping on her lap. Allura’s fingers played with the curly brown tendrils held back by a green headband, and tried to focus on the bright side. 

Maria’s eyes opened, and she rolled over, laughing as Allura quickly scooped her up to avoid the small child rolling off the couch. Her eyes were brown, almost golden, like her mothers, and for a second Allura was taken aback by how similar she looked to her mom. 

“Hello darling!” the princess cooed. “Did you have a nice nap?” 

Maria nodded, laughing and clapping her hands enthusiastically. Allura swept the toddler on one hip, and made her way to the kitchen, searching through the fridge for the food Lance had left. 

The princess had always wanted children. She used to watch the maids and their little girls walk through the palace gardens back on Altea. But after the war, and finally settling down on earth, she realized she had little time for anything that wasn’t work. She had to put her social and romantic life on hold in favour of strengthening the intergalactic alliances. 

Did she regret her decision? Maybe. But if she could go back, something told her she would do the same thing. 

She finally found a container of some sort of mush… apple sauce, she hoped, and grabbed a spoon before heading back to the living room. 

The pair plopped down on the carpet, and Allura spooned the food into Maria’s waiting mouth until she exclaimed rather loudly that she was full. 

_ Just like her father,  _ she thought amused. 

“‘Auntie ‘Llura.” Maria crawled over to one of the books that were in the bag Lance had left them. She opened it to the middle, displaying a brightly coloured illustration. 

“What do you have there?” Allura asked, walking over to see the picture. “Oh! It’s a--”

“Rocketship!” Maria babbled, pointing to the picture in the book. 

Allura clucked her tongue and shook her head. “No darling, that’s an ancient Balmera-powered sentient travel vessel.”

Maria looked at her confused. “Rocketship!” She pointed again. 

“Balmera-powered sentient--” 

“Rocketship!”

“Balmera-powered--” 

_ “I’m telling you Allura, it’s called a rocketship.”  _

_ “I am unfamiliar with the term Katie. I think you’re thinking of a Balmera-powered sentient travel vessel.”  _

_ Katie tilted her head back, laughing. Allura flicked her on the shoulder, her movements causing the princess to mess up her braiding. “Okay, okay, whatever you say!”  _

_ Alluras fingers came to a halt, her head tilted to the side. “You’re siding with me?”  _

_ Katie thought about this for a moment, before shaking her head. “No. It’s easy being right all the time, but the real battle is knowing when to let the other person think they’re right.” She paused, pursing her lips. “Like what I have to do with Lance!”  _

_ They lasted three tics before they exploded into fits of laughter, the braid long forgotten.  _

“You’re right darling,” Allura conceded, her heart suddenly heavy. “It’s a rocket ship.” 

Maria said something about her daddy, but Allura didn't really hear her. Her mind far away, back in a time where things were simple and good. 

She was jerked out of her thoughts by a ring from the doorbell. She blinked back tears she didn’t even know were there and opened the door. 

“Hey. I’m here for Maria?” Veronica stood in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled and tired. Her usually neat hair was falling out of her bun, and her shirt was wrinkled. 

“Of course,” Allura beckoned her inside. “You’ll have to excuse the mess.” She apologizes, maneuvering her way through toys and books. “We’re almost all packed.”

But Veronica had made a beeline to her niece, scooping her up and kissing her cheek. “Hello Maria! Aunty Ronnie’s going to take you to Abuela’s house! Doesn’t that sound nice?” 

Maria let out a giggle before turning to look at Allura with a conflicted look on her face. “Aunty ‘Llura?” 

“Oh darling,” Allura looked up from packing up and smiled. “You’ll see me soon, but right now your grandparents want to see you. They miss you very much!” 

This seemed like an adequate response for the little girl as she turned her attention back to her aunt, her tiny hands grabbing at stray pieces of hair. Veronica was cooing at her, making no move to help Allura pack, but she didn’t mind. 

She finished packing and before she knew it, Veronica and Maria were out the door, leaving her alone in a harsh silence. 

Closing the door, she made her way to the living room where a blue and green baby blanket lay crumpled on the floor. Allura picked it up, feeling the soft material in her hands. She wondered if she should go after them, or simply wait to give it to Lance when she saw him next. 

Before she could make the decision however, there was a knock at the door. 

_ I guess she realized they left it behind,  _ she mused before opening the door. “You forgot the blanket… oh.”

Keith. 

“I came as soon as I--” He ran a hand through his hair. “How is she?” 

Allura shook her head, blocking his path with her body. “It’s not looking good.” 

He stood there, his hands in his pockets, awkwardly shuffling his feet on her front step. He looked different. Different and  _ good.  _ Taller, his lean muscles taught under his black shirt, his hair swept back just so--

“Why are you here Keith?” 

“Hunk thought you needed a ride to the--” he trailed off, looking at her with a look so sad her heart went out to him. “To see Katie.” 

She crossed her arms, leaning on the door frame. On one hand, she did need a ride, but with  _ Keith _ ? Allura shook her head, feeling guilty about how selfish she sounded. It was about Katie, not her. 

“Okay. I’ll be ready in a minute.” 

She turned to go inside and he followed her, silently, like a cat. She hated how she could feel the tension in the room. 

He sat stiffly on the edge of her couch, and she tried not to think of the last time he was in her house. The screaming, the broken vase, him storming out after. 

Allura grabbed her purse and fluffed her hair out, ignoring the new wrinkles on her face. Perhaps she should ask Lance for some of his cream. 

“Okay, I’m ready.” 

Keith jumped up, as if he was itching to get out of her house, and she followed him out the doors to his car, preparing herself for the worst car ride of her life. They sat mostly in silence, Keith tapping his fingers against the wheel, Allura fidgeting with her hands on her lap. 

To say it was awkward was an understatement. 

Allura cleared her throat, desperate to break the suffocating silence. “You got your haircut I see.” 

Keith nodded, bringing a hand to the back of his head where his tell-tail pony tail once sat. He looked more like the Keith she had first met; except for the beard. That was new. 

Not bad, just new.

“Yeah, figured it was time for a change.” 

And that was it. No clever quips that might have happened if they were still together. No light hearted jokes or off-key singing to the radio. Just silence. At least they weren’t fighting.

It was a few more minutes before Keith spoke up, startling her. “We need to make a quick stop on the way.” 

She nodded, it was his car and he was driving her, so she wasn’t in a position to argue. Allura knew when to keep her mouth shut. 

When they finally stopped in front of the Garrison training building, Keith headed inside, telling her he’d be back in five, and left her there. 

Not for the first time. 

**Shiro**

“Do you think I want to be here?” Keith shouted, raising his arms. “Huh?” 

Shiro stayed silent, focusing on keeping his pace. 

“No. I don’t want to be here because it means Katie’s dying and there’s no stopping it. But at least I have the fucking guts to go see her. At least I’m going to spend her last days with her, making more memories. So stay here if you want. Keep on running away from your problems, but don’t come crying to me when you realize you wasted your last moments with Katie because you were afraid.”

The former black paladin kept running, faster and faster. Keith was right. He  _ was  _ running away. He’d known Katie since she was a little girl. He’d sworn to her father and brother that he’d keep her safe. She was like the daughter he’d never had. Why should he have to see her suffer? This raised a better question. Why was he worried about himself? He wasn’t the one dying. 

“Wait,” Shiro called out, stopping Keith in his tracks. “Give me fifteen minutes to shower.” 

**Hunk**

He really didn’t want to be here, but did anyone really? He’d much rather be at home, living in blissful ignorance of what was happening to his best friends. 

God, why did it have to be them? They have a daughter for crying out loud. A precious two year-old who will have to grow up without her mother. Lance will have to learn how to do things again without Katie as a buffer between stupid and  _ really _ stupid. Dinner parties will need one less place setting, and Hunk would need to alter his peanut butter cookie recipe for one less--albeit peanut butter loving--mouth. To put it frankly, this entire situation sucked butt. 

Regardless, Hunk plastered a giant smile on his face and practically pranced into her room, his arms full of containers. No amount of peptalking himself would have prepared himself for the sight before him. Lance was talking to Katie in a hushed tone, and she smiled weakly, shaking her head at something he said. She lifted her hand to bat his arm, but couldn’t seem to find the strength to go through with it, so Lance took her hand in his and kissed it gently. Her eyes looked at him gratefully, before flicking to Hunk. 

She smiled wider, sitting up slightly. “Welcome to my humble abode!” 

Lance rested a hand on her shoulder and grinned at him. “Hey dude! Whatcha got there?” 

“A little bit of home.” He began to portion out the pasta, garlic knots, salad and, for dessert, peanut butter cupcakes. Hunk ignored Lance’s salivating expression and handed the first plate to Katie. 

“Really man? I thought we were friends,” Lance said as he accepted his plate greedily, immediately digging in and making remarks on everything. Katie shook her head at her husband and berated him for eating with his mouth open, laughing when Lance made a noodle mustache.

“That’s the closest thing to facial hair you’re ever going to get.” She teased and Hunk let out a snort. 

“Hey! Just wait, I’ll grow a full mustache that will make Coran jealous. You’ll see--” He stopped, his eyes darting to Katie, then to all the machines she was hooked up to. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. 

“I’m stuffed!” Katie exclaimed, making a scene of setting her cutlery down, and patting her stomach. Hunk and Lance exchanged a glance. Lance quickly took her plate away, helping her move to a lying down position. Hunk’s eyes flicked to the untouched plate of food but he kept his mouth shut. 

As soon as her eyes drooped shut, all of his positive aura fell away, and he collapsed onto a chair, giant tears falling down his cheeks. His shoulders shook and Lance was beside him, his hand rubbing soothing circles on his friends back. 

Lance of all people knew how hard it was to see her like this. Hunk didn’t know how long they spent like that--it felt like an eternity--but when he’d finally regained some of his composure, he stood up, clearing off the food from Katies plate. Lance looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t and before he could change his mind, there was a soft knock from the door. 

Lance shot up, padding over and sliding it open. Hunk looked up to see Keith and Allura walking in, followed by a very exhausted looking Shiro. Lance accepted hugs from their old team, and they gathered around Katie’s bed, holding each other for support. 

“God,” Keith sighed. “I was imagining the worst, but this--”

“Is so much more painful to see.” Hunk finished. Everyone nodded in agreement, just watching their friend sleep soundly. This was so much worse than waiting for someone to exit the healing pod, because they weren’t waiting for someone to be healed, they were waiting for someone to die. 

He knew without looking around that they were all thinking the same thing. Maybe it was the bond they formed as paladins, or a side effect of all those Altean team building exercises, but Hunk could feel everyone else reaching out, offering comfort and strength to others. 

He also knew there were no dry eyes. All the grief they’d felt over the last few days was suddenly settling in, washing over them in one gigantic titlewave. 

Hunk wanted nothing more than to fall down screaming and crying for all the injustices in the world. But Katie was a trooper. She was the strongest of them all.

So for her, he’d be strong. 

**Sam**

Samuel Holt was not a people-person. He was much more comfortable with robots and machines; things he could take apart and see with his own eyes. His wife was much more comfortable in social situations, and for that he was grateful. She always knew what to do and say, and seeing her so silent after the doctor delivered them the news that their baby girl wasn’t going to last the week scared the shit out of him. 

He could still remember how she had begged him to let her come with him to work, to see the projects he was working on. Even then, she’d been so brilliant, so full of curiosity. 

Just like her mother. 

He hadn’t been in to visit his daughter because of work. He knew it sounded horrible, but it was true. He was on the verge of a major breakthrough, and deep in his heart, he knew Katie wouldn’t have agreed with him wasting time sitting by her bedside. 

But his lead had fallen through, dragging him on a wild goose chase before slamming him into a brick wall. And to think Slav had assured him it would be easy. 

He had picked up a computer for her to take apart as a gift on his way, but suddenly it seemed impossible to open the door. He didn’t know why, it was just a door. It was a metal sheet with an encoded key pad on one side to keep out unwanted visitors. 

His daughter needed him. She needed her father, and he would be damned if he wasn’t there for her. He adjusted his glasses and punched in the key code, marching inside. 

Samuel Holt didn’t understand people. And he really didn’t understand the paladins. But as he stood there watching them stand around his daughters bed, their eyes trained on her sleeping figure, he witnessed the Paladins of Voltron reduced to nothing but scared children, facing another war they never thought they’d have to fight. 

Quietly, he backed out of the room, knowing that he’d be intruding in on a personal moment between his daughter and her teammates, but he made a silent promise to visit her tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! comments/suggestions are always welcomed :)


	3. THURSDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things take a turn for the worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand another angst filled chapter! huge thanks to alwaysinsonder for betaing!

** _Katie_ **

_ “That darn Hunk, always sticking his nose in everyone's business; thinking he can fix everything with some cookies.” Katie fumed, stormingaround her dorm at the Garrison, trying to figure out how to fix her current, and most worrisome problem.  _

_ Hunk Garret knew her secret.  _

_ She was about to try and hack into the Garrison Education Server to expel him, but she knew that wasn’t right. He and Lance were the only ones who had been nice to her, after all.  _

_ What was she going to do? _

_ “Knock knock?”  _

_ Speak of the devil.  _

_ “What do you want Hunk?” She knew she sounded snarky, but she didn’t care. He deserved it.  _

_ “I bring cookies,” Hunk said through the door. “And an apology.”  _

_ Katie could feel her resolve fade away and she reluctantly opened the door, letting Hunk in.  _

_ When they were settled on her floor, she grabbed a cookie and bit down.  _

_ It was as though heaven had exploded in her mouth.  _

_ “Peanut butter!” She cried, unable to contain her delight. “They’re my favorite!”  _

_ “I might have…” Hunk looked down sheepishly. “Read it in your diary?”  _

_ She glared at him, remembering her current predicament.  _

_ “Look, Pidge,” he started. “I didn’t mean to read your diary, it was just there out in the open and one thing lead to another, and--” he sighed. “I just need you to know I would never, ever reveal your secret. Friends don’t betray friends.”  _

_ Katie looked up at him, her eyes wide. “I’m your friend?”  _

_ “Of course!” Hunk exclaimed! “I don’t bake cookies for just anyone!”  _

_ Ever since Kerberos, she had closed off her heart from everyone. But seeing Hunk now, holding a container of cookies, her heart melted. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug. For a second, she was afraid that she’d overstepped and made to pull away, when he hugged her back. It was possibly the warmest, most comforting hug she’d ever received.  _

_ She knew this was the start of a lifelong friendship.  _

  
  


**Hunk**

“He won’t even visit her?” Hunk asked, clearing the plates from the dinner table. 

Lance shook his head. “He’s been trying to find a cure. I guess he still has hope that--” he stopped, turning away from his friend, his shoulders rising and falling steadily. “Nevermind,” he dismissed. 

“What’s wrong bud?” Hunk asked, thinking it was the safest option. It was not. 

The blue paladin whirled on him, emotions flickering across his face; despair, regret, fear, shame, anger. “What’s wrong?” Lance set down the plate he was holding with shocking gentleness. “Huh Hunk, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that my wife is dying in a hospice as we speak because she isn’t going to last the week? Or the fact that our daughter is going to grow up without her mother? Or that I’m going to have to live the rest of my quiznacking life without the woman I love?!”

He slammed his hands onto the counter, balling them into fists. His shoulders were shaking with silent sobs, and Hunk’s heart fractured a little more seeing his best friend - one of the strongest people he knew- reduced to a trembling, hurting mess. He approached him slowly, putting his hand on Lance’s shoulder to show him he wasn’t alone. 

“I’m sorry bud,” Hunk soothed, keeping his tone gentle and relaxed. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I just--” Lance turned to face him, his face streaked with tears. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” His voice broke, a fresh wave of tears falling. “How am I supposed to go on, parent our child alone?” 

Hunk enveloped him in a hug, providing warmth and support. “You aren’t alone in this. We are all here to help you Lance.” 

And as he held the blue paladin, Hunk tried to fight off the looming reality. But nothing he said or did seemed to stop the darkness. 

**Matt**

_ Call her.  _

That voice. That tiny voice in the back of his head that he couldn’t seem to get rid of was the bane of his existence. Of course he wanted to call her, but calling would only lead to an argument that he had not the time, nor energy to have. 

_ Just call her!  _

“Shut up!” He shouted, shaking his head. He couldn’t. 

Breathing heavily, Matt picked up his vial and added two drops of clear liquid to it. The mixture turned a vibrant orange. 

_ Wonderful.  _

With bated breath, he grabbed the test tube, TEST 46 D to be precise, and mixed it in. If his calculations were correct, the cure should turn a bright green. If that happened,  _ well,  _ Matt would have saved his sister. 

He watched as the solution whirled around in the tube and slowly came to a stop. Still orange. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, checking to see if he’d added the right cure. He checked the colour again. No change. He threw the vial on the table, the glass smashing, the liquid splattering . 

“No no no no no no no!” Matt screamed, slamming his fists on his worktable. “Another fucking dead end! What the fuck?” 

He knew no one was listening to him, but it felt nice to scream. He was running out of time.  _ Katie  _ was running out of time. 

“NO!” Matt shouted, his head shaking in a frenzy before grabbing the underside of the table and yanking up. 

The lab bench flipped, spilling papers, vials, and liquid all over the floor. Matt ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it. 

All he’d ever wanted to do was protect his sister. First it was from bullies, then Galra, and now this virus. How could he call himself her older brother when he was failing her like this. If he failed, she would die. 

His sister was going to die.

“Oh my god,” Matt gasped, his voice cracking. “Oh my god.” His breaths were getting shorter, and a whine worked its way out of his throat. He fell to his knees, unable to control his sobs. His body shook, and his calm down failing. 

_ Call her.  _

With trembling hands, he carefully picked up the picture, shaking off the broken glass from the frame. The photo was taken ten years after he launched for Kerberos, and was originally a joke. Katie had found a dress almost identical to the one she wore in their last picture and one thing had led to another, resulting in the photo recreation. 

They looked happy, no sign of pain and suffering they’d endured through years of war. Gigantic matching smiles and sparkling eyes stared back at him and the pain he was feeling in his chest exploded. He cried out like a wounded animal. 

_ Call her.  _

His last wall came crumbling down as he frantically dug through the mess on the floor until he found his phone. 

One ring. 

Two rings. 

Three rin--

“Hello?” The voice on the other end sounded weary. 

Matt swallowed, trying to find the words to speak. Nothing came out except a pained whine. 

“Matt?” she sounded more alert now, worried even. 

“Mom? Can--” his voice broke, “--can you come get me?” 

There was shuffling on the other end, followed by the rattling of keys. “I’m on my way sweetheart.” A pause. Then, “do you want me to stay on the line?” 

“No, it's fine.” He sniffled, drying his eyes on his sweater. “Just--can we go see her?” 

Silence, followed by muffled sobs. When Colleen finally come back on the line, her voice was shaky. “Yes. Yes we can.” 

Matt nodded even though she couldn’t see him, and hung up, slowly picking up the pieces of everything that was broken. 

Because sometimes, broken pieces find a way to make a new whole.

*

In his eyes, Katie would always be ten. It didn’t matter how old she was, or how many accomplishments she achieved, she would always be his baby sister. It was only in recent years that he’d begun to see her as she truly was; a strong, remarkable young woman. 

But lying in the hospice bed, holding her in his arms, she was suddenly ten again, needing a hug because school had been rough. The only difference was she needed more than a hug, and the bullies were taking her life. 

She had been sleeping when he’s entered the room, his mom and dad leaving to grab a bite to eat. He had sat there, watching her sleep, her featured so much like his own, it was like looking in the mirror. A femenine mirror, that is. He had sat there until she called out his name in her sleep, her brow furrowing, a result of a nightmare. Matt had tried to calm her down, whispering that he was here with her, but she was unresponsive. So, he had done exactly what he’d done so many times in the past, and held her close, kissing her forehead. 

She stirred, her eyes fluttering open. “Matt?” 

He nodded, the weakness of her voice terrifying. “Hey Kit-Kat.” 

Almost at once, tears welled up in her eyes, dripping down her face. “You came! Oh god--I thought you weren’t going to come!” 

Guilt flooded through his system, and he pulled her closer, not even trying to stop his own tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

Together they cried, lying on her deathbed, unable to do anything but hold on, as the world crumbled around them.

**Sam**

_ Monday started just like every other day; he woke up, got ready, kissed his wife, brought Matt to the Garrison day-care, and worked until he was hungry. _

_ Now he was making a--if he didn’t say so himself--very delicious looking sandwich. Matt sat playing with some bread on the table. The lock clicked, and he looked up to see Colleen walk in, and scoop up Matt. _

_ “You’re home early,” he stated, taking in her utility belt and helmet. After Matt was born and her maternity leave over, the Garrison had been hesitant to put her back out in the field. They only realized their mistake when several essays and petitions showed up at their doorstep demanding she be reinstated in the field. “Why exactly are you here? Not that I’m complaining or anything, I just--”  _

_ “I’m pregnant.”  _

_ His sandwich and jaw dropped. “You’re what now?” He bent down to pick up his lunch.  _

_ “I’m pregnant Sam,” Colleen restated, one hand on her belly, the other arm occupied with holding their son.  _

_ The sandwich lay forgotten on the floor. “Are you serious?”  _

_ She nodded. “I ran some tests at the Garrison.” She bit her lip to keep from smiling. “It’s a girl Sam.”  _

_ “We’re having a girl,” he repeated, as if not believing his ears. “We’re going to have a baby girl!” He looked at his beautiful wife, and their tiny son, tears in his eyes. Colleen was nodding at him, the smile on her face radiant.  _

_ He crossed the room, enveloping his family in a hug and kissing his wife. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmured against her lips.  _

_ She laughed and pushed him away playfully. “Don’t get all cheesy on my now Holt,” she teased.  _

_ He stared at her, holding their son. Five years of marriage and she could still take his breath away.  _

_ “I love you,” he blurted. _

_ She stilled, raising an eyebrow. “I know.”  _

_ “Not going to say it back?” He frowned, trying to do that thing with his lip she always does that makes it impossible to say no to her. Apparently it didn’t work because she burst out laughing, resulting in a very confused Matt. She noticed their sons expression and tried to calm down.  _

_ “Don’t worry Matty. You’re father’s just being a goof.” She looked up, catching his eye. “And that’s why I love him.”  _

_ Nine months later when he was holding his daughter for the first time, Sam couldn’t contain the joy in his heart. Her eyes were barely open, and she made adorable little noises. It was too much.  _

_ “Hi Katie,” he was trying his hardest not to cry. “I love you so much. More than you will ever know. I will fight for you, care for you, and support you no matter what.” _

_ He knew she couldn’t understand his words, but he needed to say them.  _

  
  


**Shiro**

Taking a deep breath, Shiro opened the door and went inside. 

“Hey guys,” he held up the tray in his hand. “I brought coffee.” 

Matt took the tray from him, eagerly grabbing one and taking a sip. Colleen stood despite Shiro’s protests and shuffled over, enveloping him in a hug. It was worrisome seeing her so tired and  _ broken.  _ When he was finally released, Sam was there, shaking his hand. 

“You didn’t need to do that son.” His voice was hoarse. 

Shiro patted his hand. “I think I already did.” 

They took up residence on the couch, sipping caffeinated drinks and just staring at Katie, watching her chest rise and fall, scared that each breath would be her last. Shiro cleared his throat. 

“You know we’ll all be here for you guys after…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say. 

Collen saved him, resting her hand on his arm. “We know Takashi. And we are grateful.” She looked at her husband who was polishing his glasses. “We know how much this will affect the paladins too, so it goes both ways. Before you look to take care of us, take care of yourselves first.” 

Matt nodded. “This is going to be hard for everyone, so we need to have each others backs.” 

There was murmuring of agreement, followed by silence. It was stifling, hot and uncomfortable. Shiro desperately wanted to say something, or at least open a window to let some air in, but something stopped him. He shifted, readjusted his pants, and began tapping his foot. Finally, just as he was going to burst,, Lance waltzed in, all smiles and bravado, carrying a very excited Maria. He breathed a sigh of relief. If he had to watch Katie breathe in one more time, he would have lost it

Shiro studied Lance. When the blue paladin surveyed the room and saw Katie sleeping, his act dropped; his shoulders drooping, his smile tightening, his steps losing their bounce. 

“Daddy?” Maria questioned, her eyes innocent. “Mommy?” 

Lance seemed to push back his worry and turned his full attention to his daughter. “Mommy's sleeping darling, so we have to be quiet.”

Maria looked at her mother, then back at her father and nodded, pressing her face into his shirt. “Bedtime story?” 

Lance kissed the top of her head and moved to sit next to the bed with Maria in his lap. “Okay, let me think.” His face lit up. “Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to go to space.” 

Maria giggled. “Like mommy?” 

Lance sighed. “Like mommy  _ and  _ daddy.” 

His daughter ignored him. 

“Anyways, he met this girl. They weren’t really friends at the start because they thought they didn’t have anything in common. The boy was cool and sporty, and the girl was smart and cute. His favorite colour was blue, and hers was green. But life doesn’t work like that and eventually they became best friends, and went on an adventure together. They went to space.” He elongated the last word, making it more dramatic. “And they fought bad guys, and rescued princesses, and fell in love. Now, this boy wanted to do lots of things before getting married.So even though the girl asked and pleaded with him, he kept saying no until one day, he finally said yes.” 

“Stop lying to our daughter sharpshooter.” Katie’s voice was tired, but the look she gave Lance was nothing short of amusement. 

It was clear in Lance’s eyes that fear was soon replaced with joy, and Shiro felt like he was intruding on a very personal moment. 

“How much did you hear?” Lance squeaked. 

“Enough.” 

“Mommy!!” Maria squealed, and practically jumped into Katie’s arms. Her wince was quickly covered up, but it was there nonetheless. 

“Hello baby! How are you?” She gushed, kissing her cheek. 

“Good.” Maria curled up in her mom's arms. “Come home with us?” 

Katie and Lance exchanged a quick glance before shaking her head. “No, mommy has to stay here for a little longer. I love you baby.” There were tears in her eyes. 

“I love you too,” she replied sleepily, her eyes already closing. Soon their daughter was sleeping soundly. 

Shiro tried to think of what he was going to say to her. Something heartfelt, but not too cheesy. Something like,  _ so the last time I came, you were sleeping, but I want you to know you are like family to me and I love you.  _ He was about to speak when she turned to him. 

“Hey dude.” 

“Uh,” Shiro started, at a loss for words. 

Katie raised a brow. “Not what you were expecting? Did you want some heartfelt greeting, maybe throw in a few tears while I’m at it?” 

Shiro blanched, unsure of what to say. 

It took three seconds before Matt burst out laughing. “My god Shiro! Your face!” 

Katie joined him, leaving a very confused Colleen, Sam, Shiro and Lance staring. 

When the siblings finally calmed down, Katie wiped a tear away. “We heard you monologuing in the bathroom.”

“Katie, you are like family to me,” Matt added, trying to make his voice deeper. “I hope this greeting is not too cheesy for your liking.” 

Katie snorted and Matt let out a giggle, and they were both gone again, hysterical cries rang out into the hallway. 

Colleen turned to Shiro. “Was it like this on the Castle?” 

The former black paladin shook his head in despair. “You have no idea.” 

“Oh trust me,” Sam sighed. “I  _ know. _ ” 

By some miracle, Maria slept through it all,  _ just like her mother,  _ Sam had commented. When she finally awoke, she exclaimed she was hungry, and Colleen told her she was going to have a sleepover at their place. Maria’s protests were quelled with the bribe of ice cream and whatever she wanted for dinner, and soon the Holts and Shiro left, bidding the Mcclains farewell. 

“You’re free to join us for dinner,” Matt offered. “It would be great to catch up.” 

Shiro shook his head. “Maybe another time. I think I’m going to hit the hay.” 

“Okay,” Matt offered him a smile. “Thanks for dropping by yeah?” 

“Anytime.” 

  
  


**Lance**

When Lance woke up, he was more scared than he’d ever been in his life. And that was saying something. He bolted upright, ignoring the pain in his neck from his previous position, and studied his wife. 

She was shaking, soft cries falling from her lips, muffled by her fist. At once, Lance pressed the ‘HELP’ button that would alert Linda, and began running his fingers through Katie’s hair. 

“Where does it hurt?” 

Katie let out another pained whimper, curling into a tighter ball. Her eyes were squeezed shut, tears and sweat dripping down her face. 

“Shhhh, hermosa,” he tried to soothe. “The nurse is coming soon to get your meds.” 

A clammy hand reached out for his and he grabbed it, gently kissing her knuckles. “Tell me something,” she gasped. “Anything to distract me.” 

“Katie, I think you should--”

“Please.” It was more of a sob than a request. She forced her eyes open, staring directly at him.

“Okay, okay, let me think.” Lance took a deep breath, trying to think of something Katie didn’t know, which was as task in itself. “Umm, okay, my first kiss. I was twelve, she was sixteen. Her parents bought produce from our farm, and I helped her take the boxes to her truck. She wanted to thank me, and one thing led to another.” 

Katie let out a huff, and she pouted adorably. “Trying to make me jealous?”

“That depends,” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Is it working?” 

“Maybe.” She grimaced. “Keep talking.” 

“It was nice, not at all what I was expecting. Too much tongue I think.” He chuckled at the memory. Her dad had caught them in the back corner, and had threatened to hang him by the balls. “But Katie?” 

She looked up at him again, her eyes wide and curious. 

“My  _ first  _ kiss was about seven years ago. It was on Olkarion, and there was this girl who took my breath away. We spent the evening together, and before I could stop myself, I kissed her. And she kissed back. And it was like a million fireworks exploded in my heart, because I knew right then I was going to marry her.” Lance leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Do you know who that girl was?” 

Katie was bright red. “Me,” she muttered.

“Exactly. You were my first  _ real  _ kiss Katie. I--” 

The monitor beside them started beeping erratically, and Lance looked to see Katie shivering on the bed. Where the fuck was Linda? 

“Katie? Hermosa, hang on okay?” Lance brushed away the hair matted on her forehead, silently praying to anyone who would listen. “You’re going to be okay.” 

“I--I can’t” Katie choked out, fresh tears falling on the pillow. Her nose was bleeding now, the crimson staining the pristine white sheets. “Lance!” 

“Shhhh, I’m here.” He whispered, holding her hand. Cold fear gripped his heart, and his own tears were flowing now. 

Katie looked up at him pleadingly. “Sing for me?” 

Lance swallowed the sob clawing its way up his throat. “Anything for you.” He took a deep breath and began to sing. 

“Eres tu bella sonrisa, la rima y el alma,”

She looked at him, managing a sad smile before biting her lip to keep from crying out. 

“Eres el frio, el calor”

_ She was beaming up at him, her eyes locked with his. The music was soft as the newlyweds took their first dance, and even though everyone was looking at them, he only had eyes for her. _

“Eres el miedo, el valor”

His voice was shaking, but he kept going, singing strong for her. Anything for her. 

“Eres la sombra que sale cuando quema el sol”

_ Lance opened his mouth to sing along, but she silenced him with a shake of her head.  _

_ “I can’t have you going all Elvis on me tonight Mcclain.” _

_ He rolled his eyes. “Anything for you Mcclain.”  _

“Eres un confidente de todas mis emociones”

Her grip on his hand was irontight, her knuckles turning white, and his fingers losing feeling. But Lance didn’t care. Not when her life was at stake. 

“La causa, la razón de mis canciones”

_ As they waltzed around the room, he couldn’t help but notice how perfect she felt in his arms. It felt like home, and he never wanted to let go.  _

“Los sueños, la verdad y mucho más”

The monitor was beeping almost as fast as his own heart. Lance was trying to take deep breaths but it wasn’t working. The bubble of panic was growing in his gut. 

“Y mucho mas”

_ “Your hands are sweaty,” she whispered into his shoulder.  _

_ He chuckled, embarrassed. “What can I say? I’m dancing with a beautiful lady. I’m allowed to be nervous.”  _

“Eso eres”

Katie’s eyes met his.  _ I love you,  _ she mouthed. 

“Un mar donde navegan emociones”

_ “I love you Katie Mcclain,” he murmured.  _

_ Her eyes twinkled, and she smiled. “I know.” _

_ Lance pouted. “Aren’t you going to say it back?”  _

_ “I will, just not here.” She rose on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear. “Later, when we’re alone.”  _

“El cielo en que flotan corazones”

His eyes went wide as she started to thrash around, ripping her hand out of Lances, and using it to claw at her arms. He jumped out of his chair and held her tightly, trying to stop her. 

“Mi complice, mi guia y mucho más”

_ The music ended, but he didn’t care. They just stood there, taking in the moment. If only, he thought, if only this could last forever.  _

“Mucho mas”

Linda burst through the doors, followed by a parade of staff pushing a cart filled with different types of tools. She was mouthing something to him, but he couldn’t hear her. He was too focused on Katie

“Eso eres”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? questions? comments? all are welcome!


	4. AFTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mourning: the expression of deep sorrow for someone who has died

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to alwaysinsonder for the amazing beta work! honestly, I can't thank you enough! 
> 
> plus a giant thanks to the folks over at the conservatory discord! y'all unknowingly helped me brainstorm and motivated me to write!

**FRIDAY**

**Allura**

“Lance, please,” Allura set her bag down. “Let’s talk.” 

“Leave me alone to wallow in my sorrow and beer,” the man in the armchair slurred, the hiss of another can being opened filling the room. “I’m pathetic.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I don’t know what to do,” he crushed the can in his hand, tossing it to the side and reaching for another. “I’m a terrible person.” 

“Lance,” Allura sighed, taking the can away from him. “Don’t talk like that.” 

“It’s true. I’m  _ nothing  _ without her. She was my everything. What do I have to live for now?” 

“Shut up.” Her voice was dangerously soft. Lance froze and looked at her, tears still streaming down his face. 

“What?” 

“I said shut up.” 

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Lance shouted, turning his back on her. “Not in my own home.” 

“I know I sound mean right now, but Lance, you have got to pull yourself together.” She waved her arms around, gesturing to the mess of the room. “You have a brilliant, beautiful sleeping daughter in the next room who needs her father. I know this is hard.Trust me, I do, but you need to grow up.”

“Do you Allura? Do you really know how hard this is? I should have asked her out sooner, we should have gotten married sooner, if I had asked her to stay, maybe she would have, and we would be at home right now, di--”

“You want to play the blame game Lance? Fine, let’s play.” Her voice came out harsher than expected, but she didn’t care. “I was the one who forced you all to become paladins in the first place. I was the one who sent her on that quiznacking mission in the first place. If I had gone instead, your wife would be walking around right now, living her life. I should have--” 

“No no no, ‘Llura,” Lance was quick to interject. “If you had gone, we would be in the same position as we are now, mourning a loved one.”

“But--”

“No buts. Let’s make a promise. I’ll get my shit together if you promise to never,  _ ever  _ blame yourself for what happened. Deal?” 

The pure determination in his eyes made her want to burst into tears. Allura caught a glimpse of the old Lance, the one who crash landed the blue lion on her castle all those years ago, the one who would stop at nothing to get something done. 

“Deal.” She nodded, wrapping her pinky with his. 

Maybe things would be alright after all. 

**Hunk**

Family. It was something that was not to be taken for granted. Hunk’s own mother had drilled that into his head at a young age. It was why when the Holts had approached him asking if he would be willing to cater Katie’s celebration of life, he couldn’t refuse. 

If he stopped to think about the last two weeks, Hunk knew he wouldn’t make it. It was too painful to even think about. One moment she’s there, alive and well; the next… well, she’s gone. 

He turned his attention to the caramel sauce simmering on the stove, stirring gently. It was sort of calming, keeping himself busy. He had at least ten dishes underway and cooking in his kitchen and his mind was never at rest. 

“Bud? You in here?” Keith’s voice drifted through the halls, but Hunk was too busy checking on his puff pastry. Five more minutes till golden brown perfection. “Hey, Colleen sent me to see how you’re doing.” The former red paladin appeared in the kitchen, leaning on the counter. “And it looks like you’re busy.” 

“Yeah,” He snapped as a usually welcome guest but now complete distraction walked in. Ignoring Keith’s look of hurt, he whirled to check on the marinating lamb chops. “Just trying to decide the order of the courses. I was thinking we start with the stuffed roasted peppers--”

Hunk paid him no mind, continuing to frantically run around the kitchen. “...And then we’ll have a shrimp wonton topped with a sweet and sour chili sauce, followed by the lobster bites. Or should it be the mini cakes? No, we shouldn't intermix sweet and savory--” 

“Okay, but--”

“Kinda busy at the moment,” he grit his teeth, wiping his hands and tossing the towel over his shoulder. “I’ve got a dozen chocolate souffles waiting to be baked and a chicken to baste. Not to mention the pasta that’s boiling.” 

“Hunk!” Keith stepped forward.

Something was burning. Hunk smelled it immediately. What was it? The chicken? The pastry? 

Oh  _ quizanck.  _

“The caramel sauce!” Hunk leapt over the counter, ignoring Keith’s shocked expression and grabbed the smoking pot from the stove, threw it in the sink, and doused it with water. “Oh quiznack, I’m out of butter. Now I have to go to the store and buy some more, but there’s no time because there’s a million things I need to finish before, and by then the store will be closed and--”

“Bud, take a minute to breathe!” Keith took the spoon from his friend's hand. “You’re going to wear yourself out!” 

“Hunk!” Keith shouted, grabbing his friend’s shoulders and forcing him to stop. “Hunk, Pidge does--didn’t even like shrimp.” 

“I--I know. But I just want to give her the world man. She deserved so much more than what she got.” Large tears started rolling down his cheeks. “And now I have no one to make peanut butter cookies and garlic knots for. There will be no more late night video game snacking, no more comfort food runs, no more anything! And I hate it!” 

“There there,” Keith focused on awkwardly patting Hunks back. “It’s alright to get upset.” 

. 

“I mean I wish I was like you, all emo and used to people dying--” Hunk gasped, clutching his hands over his mouth his face turning red as soon as he realized what he’d said. “I’m so sorry Keith! I didn’t mean it at all, I’m sorry! God, I’m a mess.” He sunk to the floor in dismay, trying to quell the shame that was rising in his stomach. 

“Look bud, it’s fine” Keith sighed and sat next to his friend. “This isn’t my first time experiencing loss. But it doesn’t mean I feel anything less than you. It just means I know how to deal with it better. When I lost my dad, I was a wreck; even more so than you think you are now. Then I lost Shiro and, well, you know how  _ that  _ went. It’s not easy, not for anyone,” Keith shifted to put an arm around his friend. “But the last two times, I was alone. You are not alone. We’re in this together, all of us.” 

Hunk sniffled, wiping his eyes. He hadn’t really thought of it like that. He had been so wrapped up in the preparations that he’d forgotten about the others. “Do you think we’re going to make it?” 

“Honestly, yes, I do. One day at a time.” 

The former yellow paladin nodded and stood. One day at a time. He could do that. 

“Keith, can you stick around and help out a bit? I gotta make some changes to the menu.” 

“Yeah of course. What’s the plan chef?” 

“Well,” Hunk smiled, grinning wide. “I was thinking something along the lines of garlic knots and peanut butter cookies.” 

**Lance**

This was it. He could have had the entire year to prepare, and still feel as uneasy as he did now. Lance had always been a good public speaker, and had done everything from elementary school plays to Coalition presentations, but this was one speech he had never wanted to deliver nor expected to in his lifetime. 

“Thank you for doing this Lance,” Colleen’s voice jerked him out of his thoughts. “It means the world to us.” 

The older woman looked as though she’d aged ten years in the last week. Her frame was more frail than Lance had ever seen, but despite it all, she stood tall. He tried to channel some of her strength, but failed miserably. His body hunched in on itself instead. Colleen must have sensed his unease and she gently reached out to straighten his tie, humming softly to herself. Lance closed his eyes, the movement so familiar he could almost imagine  _ her  _ doing it. 

Keyword:  _ almost.  _

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself, he walked onto the stage, making sure his steps were confident. The Holts, Shiro, Keith and Hunk were in the front pews of the church. Allura was off in the back gently bumping Maria up and down on her hip. He watched as the princess pointed at him and whispered something into his daughter's ear. Maria perked up, an ear to ear grin appearing on her face and she waved, a delighted ‘daddy’ on her lips. 

She looked so much like her mother. He managed to smile back, winking, before turning his attention to the matter at hand. He set his papers on the podium, but when he looked down the words were just a blur, as if all the ink was swirling around on the page. This had never happened before. His hands were sweaty too. 

What was wrong with him? 

Taking a step back, Lance closed his eyes, breathing deeply. What would  _ she  _ say?

_ “Come on you doofus! Suck it up and get on that stage! And remember, I love you.”  _

He almost laughed out loud. She really would say that wouldn’t she? Accompanied with a smack on the arm and a kiss on the cheek.  _ I love you too, _ he thought, and a cool breeze floated through the open doors and windows of the church, almost as if in response. 

Lance cleared his throat, drawing all attention to himself, and began. 

“First of all, I want to thank everyone for being here today. These past few days have been incredibly difficult for us, and we are overwhelmed with the amount of support we have, and continue to receive. On behalf of the Holt family, I would like to offer these wise words: in times of darkness, the light will only shine brighter.” 

_ He woke to fingers raking through his hair. He sat up, his hand still gripping hers, only for his eyes to meet hers. The doctor had heavily sedated Katie, claiming that it was the best decision for her and that she would pass peacefully in her sleep. Yet here she was, offering him a weak smile.  _

_ “Katie?” For a brief moment Lance let himself hope that this had all been a bad dream, that she wasn’t actually sick, but he squashed the thought. Living in denial would only make it worse.  _

_ “I want to see it one more time,” she whispered, turning to face the ceiling.  _

_ “See what?”  _

_ “Olkarion.”  _

_ Her voice was so full of longing that his heart broke a little, something deep inside him stirring. Who was he if he couldn’t fulfill his wife’s dying wish. But at the same time, it was practically impossible. She was living on borrowed time and a jump to space, even with the Garrison’s most advanced ships, would be fatal.  _

_ “Look, beautiful, I’ve never been a logic kind of guy, but this doesn't seem possible. We--” _

_ “I know,” she sighed, still not looking at him. “I can just remember how beautiful it was... the perfect combo of nature and technology. And those sunsets, god Lance, I wish I could just see them once more.”  _

_ “I know, Katie. And if I could, I would take you there right now, and we wouldn’t leave until we wanted. Of course we’d have to pick Maria up along the way, but that would be a simple swing by the school--” _

_ “Lance, you’re starting to sound like me with all this rambling.” She let out a cough that racked her entire frame, and Lance was on his feet, rubbing small circles on her back.  _

_ “Eh,” he said sheepishly once the danger had passed. He opened his mouth to say more but closed it again when he noticed her eyes drooping. “It’s okay beautiful. Sleep.”  _

_ She shook her head but within a few seconds she was still again, her breathing evening out.  _

“For everyone who don’t know, I’m Lance. I was married to Katie, but fought by her side in our Voltron years.“

_ He met them all in the hallway, Keith, Hunk, Matt, Sam, Colleen and Maria, Allura and Shiro.  _

_ “We’re not too late are we?” Hunk cried, and Lance did his best to assure them that they were not. When everyone had calmed down, he explained the situation. Allura let out a gasp and Hunk stifled a sob. The rest just looked downcast. “This is probably it. Katie didn’t seem too worried about it--” _

_ “You spoke with her? Did she say anything important?”  _

_ “No, she was just talking about wanting to go see Olkari one last time.” Lance mumbled.  _

_ “Than take her!” Matt yelled, ignoring the stern look from the doctor passing by. “What are you waiting for?”  _

_ “A trip like that would kill her,” Keith reasoned.  _

_ “Plus there’s no ship that would get them there fast enough,”Shiro added.  _

_ Everyone stood in the hallway in silence, thinking about what they could do. It was Sam who finally spoke up.  _

_ “All we can do now is say our goodbyes.”  _

“When Katie and I were teens, just starting our Voltron journey, we caught a glimpse of a sunset, and she had said something along the lines of ‘a million sunsets happen every day Lance’. Now from a scientific perspective, this is true. But I was never good at science, and mulled over this line for longer than I would like to admit. At first I thought she was just one of those people who didn’t see the point in temporary beauty; someone who wouldn’t “stop and smell the roses” if you will. But the more I got to know her, the more this didn’t make sense. Katie was 100% a “stop and smell the roses” person. So what did that line mean? “

_ They waited in silence, carefully watching the rise and fall of her chest, afraid that each one would be her last.  _

_ “What is that?” Matt asked, standing and moving towards the window.  _

_ “Huh?” Keith joined him, followed by Allura.  _

_ “Great Alfor,” Allura swore. “It can’t be.”  _

_ Lance looked up from his seat next to Katie. “What is it?”  _

_ Allura looked at him with tears in her eyes. “It’s the green lion.” As if on cue, a roar sounded, and the familiar face of the arm of Voltron appeared in the window. “But why is it here?”  _

_ Hunk muttered something and they all turned to him expectantly. “She’s here to take her to Olkarion.”  _

“All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to do was fall in love. I grew up watching my parents adore each other, even after who knows how many years of marriage. Not to mention my siblings, who had all gotten older and one by one, had each found their special partners. I grew up surrounded by love, dreaming of all the perfect scenarios in my head.”

_ “It’s time,” Colleen declared, holding her grandchild tighter to her chest. “I love you so much Katie.”  _

_ “You went to space for me, and I’ll do the same for you. Always, I’ll be there for you.” Matt cried, his hands balled into fists. “I promise.”  _

_ “You were the best Earth sister I could have ever asked for. May the gods watch over you in your next journey.” Allura grabbed Keith's hand, not daring to let go.  _

_ “It was an honor to fight by you Katie.” Keith squeezed her hand back.  _

_ Shiro wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. “Thank you for everything. For never giving up.” _

_ “I hope you get to eat all the peanut butter cookies you want,” Hunk wailed, burying his face in Shiro’s jacket, the older man gently patting his back.  _

_ “Mama?” All heads turned to the little girl in her grandmother's arms. “I love you mama.”  _

_ “And she loves you too Maria. More than you know.” Her grandfather kissed her forehead before turning to Lance. “Take her,” Sam’s voice was soft yet firm. “Take my baby girl to see it one last time.”  _

_ Nodding, Lance scooped up his wife and moved toward the open mouth of the lion, painfully aware of every shallow breath filling her lungs. He sat on the toilet seat, his hands finding the controls.  _

_ “Okay Greenie. Let’s see what you can do.”  _

“But spoiler alert: falling in love is completely unexpected. You would think you would have an idea about when it would happen, but man, it comes out of nowhere. I still remember the exact day I realized I had fallen hard for Katie. “We had been working on a surprise party for Matt, decorating the lab with all sorts of balloons and streamers and I looked up to see her looking absolutely angelic. Hair falling out of her ponytail, glasses perched on her head, tongue stuck out in concentration, eyes sparkling as she teetered dangerously on the edge of a chair, determined to hang the streamers herself. Looking back, I probably should have offered to help her, but in the moment I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was stare. I had never felt anything like that before in my life. It was a punch in the gut moment, you know? Like the floor had suddenly been taken out from under my feet and I just knew I was going to marry her.”

_ As if sensing the energy from her lion, Katie reached out and grabbed Lance’s hand, her fingers gripping him tightly. Her eyes opened slightly, and Lances smile widened.  _

_ “We’re going to Olkarion Beautiful. It’s happening.”  _

_ She nodded, but made no movement to continue the conversation. Lance couldn't help the sinking feeling of his heart. In the blink of an eye, they were looking at Olkari, the colors of a sunset surrounding the planet. _

“Katie has given me more than I could have ever wished for--deserved even--and I will always be eternally grateful. I will never forget her smile, bright enough to light up an entire room and cheer me up after a long day of work. Her ability to solve almost any problem with just a few calculations. Her love - god what did I do to deserve it - for me, for her family and friends and even for those in galaxies far far away. Her love for our daughter, so smart and radiant like her mother that whenever she looks at me, my heart wants to burst from joy.”

_ “Look Katie, we made it!” _

_ Brilliant reds and golds and blues painted the sky, creating a masterpiece.  _

_ “See?”  _

_ He looked down to see her eyes closed.  _

_ “Come on, open your eyes! Let’s watch the sunset!”  _

_ No response.  _

_ “Please!” _

_ He begged, gently tapping her face.  _

_ “Fuck just open your eyes Katie!”  _

_ Tears were flowing down his face, obstructing his view of the sunset.  _

_ “Beautiful.”  _

_ What? He wiped his tears to see Katie, her eyes halfway open, smiling.  _

_ “Thank you.” Her eyes slid shut again, and he let out a sob.  _

_ “I’m not ready to let go yet. Please don’t leave me.” She couldn’t hear him but that didn’t stop his lamenting. “Please I need you. I need you Katie.”  _

_ Her hand was still squeezing his, as if she was fighting to stay in this life with him as much as he was fighting for her.  _

_ Then it wasn’t.  _

_ The familiar pressure of her fingers wrapped around his palm faded as she took her last breath, her hand slipping from his grasp.  _

_ Through his wails, Lance was vaguely aware of a cry of a lion, mourning her paladin. He was sure the others felt it too, somehow through the bond that connected them all. He also knew that they could feel the emptiness in their heads, as if a bond had been severed.  _

_ But Lance knew that the ache in his heart was unique to him, just as it would be for all those who loved her.  _

_ And that was a wound only time could heal.  _

“Katie, my love, thank you. Thank you for making these past fifteen years the best of my life.To this day, I still have no clue what she meant by “a million sunsets happen every day”. But I do know two things. One; falling in love is a journey and a half, full of twists and turns, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. And two; A million sunsets happen every day huh? Well, let me tell you a secret. You were my one in a million. I love you. Godspeed.”

  
  


**Keith**

“Today, I stand before you on behalf of the Paladins of Voltron. We have suffered a great loss within our family, and we thank all of you for your endless love, kindness and support through this tough time. Truly, we cannot express our gratitude enough.” 

_ “You’re up dude,” Hunk patted him on the back encouragingly. “You’ll do great.”  _

_ Keith tried to share some of his friend’s confidence, but failed. With shaking hands, he raised his glass and clicked his spoon against it, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.  _

_ “For those of you who don’t know, I have the extreme honor of being the second-first best man tonight. Katie,” he turned to the glowing bride, “today you become Katie Mcclain-Holt, or Holt-Mcclain, whatever you decide on later.”  _

Keith had never been much of a public speaker. He preferred standing on the side lines, cheering on whoever was speaking. He’d only given three speeches in his entire life; when he’d announced the new leaf the Blade was turning over, when Pidge had practically begged him to give a toast at her wedding, and now this one. A speech he had hoped he’d never have to give in his life. 

He stared down at the crumpled piece of paper in front of him, the words on the page blurring into a mess of emotions. When Allura had finally brought up the fact that they needed a paladin to speak at the funeral, Keith was sure someone else would take that job. But Hunk had admitted he’d be too much of a mess on stage, and the Holts had personally asked Shiro to sit with them in the audience. Lance, well Lance was already giving his own speech and Allura was on babysitting duty. That just left him. Good old Keith. 

He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants and took a shaky breath. 

“But today, I stand before you not as a paladin, but as an ordinary man who has loved and lost a good friend. Loss isn’t easy, not for anyone. One day they’re there, perfectly fine and the next, they’re gone and your entire world is flipped upside down. And you have to figure out how to cope, how to  _ live  _ with your new reality.” 

_ “Getting married is not easy. Sure, it might seem like a piece of cake at first, you love him, he loves you, but you’ll soon realize it's not all its cut out to be. You’ll soon discover small things about your partner that really annoy you. Like really,  _ really  _ annoy you. And it’s going to be hard too. You’re living a completely new reality, no longer centered around you, but around you and your partner. Your world is going to get flipped upside down and it's going to take some adjusting, but Katie? Lance? If anyone can do it its you two.”  _

“How do you sum up the life of Katie Holt-Mcclain? Well, you could start with what everyone knows; she was a paladin of Voltron, she was a daughter, sister, mother, and wife. After she helped save the galaxy, she worked at the Garrison, advancing our healthcare and transportation beyond anything we could have fathomed. She married the love of her life, Lance Mcclain, and gave birth to her beautiful daughter, all while continuing her research at the Garrison. She was a truly remarkable woman.” 

_ “I’ve had the great honor of watching Katie and Lance grow from hating each other, to being friends, to denying their feelings, to dating. And now you’re here, getting married. Katie, you have saved the galaxy countless times as the green paladin of Voltron. Lance, you… well you helped too I guess.” Laughter erupted in the room and Lance brought his hand to his chest as if he’d been shot. Keith shrugged, winking at his friend. “You are two of the most remarkable people I know.”  _

Keith reached up to touch his cheeks, surprised to find them wet. When had he started crying? 

“But let's talk about the Katie not very many people knew. I had the great honor of working with Katie for many years, travelling through space as the arms of Voltron. She could fall asleep anywhere, eat an entire batch of Hunk’s peanut butter cookies in one sitting and destroy anyone in any video game. She was passionate, more so than your average person, always willing to fight for what she believed was right. I remember there was this one time, after we had just liberated a Galra infested colony, she pulled me aside, this giant smile on her face and said ‘Keith, this is why I’m here. To help people. It’s not easy, but seeing these people free and happy and able to live as we do on Earth, makes it all worth it. And I’m honored to be a part of it every day’. Those words have always resonated with me. Katie, you did it. You made a difference, an impact so big, it’ll rattle the stars. Congratulations my friend, and safe travels to your next journey.” 

_ “So let’s raise our glasses!” Keith held up his champagne flute. “To the happy couple!”  _

_ “To the happy couple,” echoed the room of guests.  _

_ “To love, adventures and a long life together!”  _

_ The room was filled with the sound of clinking glasses, and when Keith looked over at the newlyweds, they were beaming ear to ear. It filled his heart to see his friends happy.  _

“So can you all do me a favor? Let's raise our glasses and tip our hats to Katie Holt-Mcclain, woman of all trades, a force to be reckoned with. Thank you.” 

He barely heard the applause as he made his way back down to where the others were sitting. He barely had time to sit down before the weight on his shoulders finally crushed him, and he covered his face to try and mask his sobs. Hands were rubbing soothing circles on his back, but he couldn’t care less. 

Katie was gone. 

  
  


**Allura**

The crowd was huge. She had expected a large number of people, but this blew her away. Humans and aliens alike were squished into rows and rows of the church’s pews, and even more people were standing in the aisles and gathered outside, to watch the live stream. Just proof of how many lives Katie had touched. 

A sharp tug on her hair brought her out of her thoughts, and Allura smiled down at the small child in her arms. She had offered to watch Maria for Lance and the Holts during the funeral, and the toddler had finally woken up from her nap. 

”Hello darling!” Allura cooed, forcing herself to stay positive. “Had a good nap?” 

“Mama?” Maria blinked sleepily, looking around in confusion. When her eyes finally settled on the Altean, she pouted, her chin beginning to tremble. “Mama?” 

“No sweetie, it's your auntie ‘Llura! You get to spend time with me today!” Her cheeks were starting to strain from holding her smile. 

Maria shook her head frantically. “Mama!” 

“Your mum’s not here right now, okay sweetheart?” Allura tried again, desperation creeping into her voice. “Do you want to play with the blocks?” 

Maria shook her head, sniffling loudly and Allura’s brain went into full panic mode. They never covered  _ what to do when the child you’re looking after suddenly wants nothing but her deceased parent  _ in  _ Babysitting for Dummies.  _

She was about to give in and find someone for help when a calming breeze filled the air, carrying flower petals from the nearby trees. Maria was instantly captivated by the beautiful swirling colors, and Allura smiled faintly. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she could have sworn the petals lingered around them a little too long to be considered natural. 

It was almost as if Katie was watching from wherever she was, taking care of her little girl. 

“Your mummy loves you very much,” Allura whispered to the girl in her arms through her tears. “She will always look after you.” 

Maria paid her crying aunt no attention, and instead let out a thrilled shriek, her tiny hands grabbing at the swirling petals.

**Colleen**

Colleen looked around the table double checking that everyone was there. When she was sure no one was missing, she cleared her throat. 

“First off, thank you all. You’re family, and we couldn’t have gotten through this without each other, so once again, thank you.” She reached under the table, pulling out a small box. “Now for the real reason I called everyone together. Before--Before she passed, Katie wrote everyone a letter. I would like to pass them out now. Read them when you feel like you’re ready.” She started to hand out the envelopes one by one. “And remember, our house is always open.  _ Always.” _

Watching everyone stare at their letters, tears forming in their eyes, Colleen came to a stark realization. She may have lost her daughter, but her family would still survive. 

And Katie would live through them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think? comments/suggestions/questions are always welcome
> 
> +stay tuned to find out what the letters say :)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments/suggestions are always welcome :)


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